Tuesday, 24 January 2017
Wednesday, 3 February 2016
A personal post about realizing I'm bi and the long story of the girl who made me do so
I feel like giving some backstory on the Girl That Made Me Realize My Sexuality. As you will likely see, fate gave me many opportunities to meet her.
When I first met the girl I am hopelessly and stupidly crushing on, I was 8. We both were. My brother and I (by prompting of oir mother) had just signed up for a karate group that, coincidentally, met at our school at like 6 on Monday nights (I think kt was Monday.... UNIMPORTANT FACT). Anyway, we join this karate group to learn how to Kick Butt ™ and I am terrified bc I don't know anyone there.
From what I remember, one of the Black Belt teacher dudes gave us a quick "this is everyone's names remember them bc I'm not gonna repeat em" type thing before starting, trying to go easy for us pathetic beginners.
We had 2 instructors. One was very old, but his son was the highest belted student (and also hella cute), plus he was a rad ninja dude so we all respected him. The other instructor was in his... probably late 30's and had 3 kids, 2 of which were also in the group. Throw in my brother and I, and that was the whole group. Wooo. 5 people. (I feel like mentioning that the younger instructor was also a popular radio host at the time. Holds no relevance but still).
So yeah, we join this karate group and we learn karate. At some point, one of my BFF's joins via bribing from me and some lther randoms join. Point is, this girl is one of the Original Five. She was the only other girl, so of course I try to talk to her. Try. And fail. Because she is rad (at least in my eyes). From what I can tell, she is roughly the same age as me, but she is SUPER ADVANCED (she's like an orange belt or something) and oh my god she's way too cool for me. So I just admire from afar.
Little did younger me realize this was my first Female Crush *miscellaneous gasps*. (at this age I really didn't realize that bisexuality was a thing, I thought you were either straight or gay. One or the other, that made sense, yeah?? oh poor, nieve younger me....)
Now we fast forward a couple of years. I've stopped karate ages ago (like, a year after I started probably??). We are now in grade 6 (12 years old). My old school has amalgamated with a few others to form a New School, and I had joined the band program the year before. During this year, I'd caught glimpses of Karate Girl, without realizing it, during the Combined Primary School Bands Program. (we even literally walked into each other a few times lmao)
We are near the end of the year and the Combined Concert is coming up, so we are doing our mini tour thing to different schools that makes us feel like pop stars or some shit. So here we are, a group of 50 or so kids from different schools, all trying to avoid making eye contact with people we dont know, when my friend walks up, grabs my arm and another friends arm, and drags us over to a group of 3 or 4 girls from another school.
We all stand there awkwardly for a minute, wondering what the hell this other friend is doing, when she suddenly introduces us all. She somehow knew them, god knows how. But as she says their names, one suddenly sounds really familiar and I glance up and grin bc OH MY GOD KARATE GIRL IS THERE (ffs me how did you not see this crush). So we smile at each other as we both recognize the other and share and akward head nod before going our separate ways (AGAIN).
Now we get to grade 7. Karate Girl (who I really need another name for.... David) and I end up going to the same school. We see each other quite often, especially since we both join the band there, but we never get much further than an awkward smile of recognition. (it's at this time that I realize she is the same grade as me).
As we get to the end of the year, band tour rolls around and we head up north to play concerts for random crowds. As we arrive at the campsite for the week, I have a mild freak out bc WHO THE FUCK AM I ROOMKNG WITH before David's ffiends awkwardly come over and just... "hey your the same grade as us, yeah? we need four for a room and there's only three of us wanna join????". So I end up rooming with basic strangers and David.
Once again, fate has mushed us together. But we still ignore The Call.
The next year. Grade 8. David and I still dont really talk, but I'm close frineds with one of her friends. So, after fate realizing we really are not getting the hint, we end spending virtually every break together. We actually start to talk.
But we are not yet friends.
another band tour awkward-room share later and fate realizes we are the thickest people ever. Grade 9 rolls around and we have almost every class together. We end up spending most of our school time together. We finally, finally become frineds. Fate cheers.
and then... I realize.
it's a Friday night. I'm staring at my roof. The thought enters my head.
gee David is cute.
I can't u think it.
I.... have a crush.
it starts off small, because we're still friends, and I really dont want to lose that. I try not to think about it too much, and I dont talk about it much either. That just seems to make it worse.
So I tell one of my friends and she basically squeals because she thinks it's so cute. I am not quite so thrilled.
The crush comes in waves, sometimes painfully strong, sometimes barely there, and as the end of another year comes around, I realize something.
I've liked David a lot longer than I originally realized.
I'd liked her from the first moment we met.
Shit.
And, now we get to wear we are now. Grade 10, first day. And she rocks up at school in a dress (sje hasn't done that before) and I nearly faint because good GOD she is stunning.
it takes everything I have not to drool at her feet.
We are friends. No one knows I like her (the friend I told promptly forgot). I cannot deal with this.
Help me.
(sorry for any mistakes or errors, I can't be bother re-reading that painful mess of emotion)
When I first met the girl I am hopelessly and stupidly crushing on, I was 8. We both were. My brother and I (by prompting of oir mother) had just signed up for a karate group that, coincidentally, met at our school at like 6 on Monday nights (I think kt was Monday.... UNIMPORTANT FACT). Anyway, we join this karate group to learn how to Kick Butt ™ and I am terrified bc I don't know anyone there.
From what I remember, one of the Black Belt teacher dudes gave us a quick "this is everyone's names remember them bc I'm not gonna repeat em" type thing before starting, trying to go easy for us pathetic beginners.
We had 2 instructors. One was very old, but his son was the highest belted student (and also hella cute), plus he was a rad ninja dude so we all respected him. The other instructor was in his... probably late 30's and had 3 kids, 2 of which were also in the group. Throw in my brother and I, and that was the whole group. Wooo. 5 people. (I feel like mentioning that the younger instructor was also a popular radio host at the time. Holds no relevance but still).
So yeah, we join this karate group and we learn karate. At some point, one of my BFF's joins via bribing from me and some lther randoms join. Point is, this girl is one of the Original Five. She was the only other girl, so of course I try to talk to her. Try. And fail. Because she is rad (at least in my eyes). From what I can tell, she is roughly the same age as me, but she is SUPER ADVANCED (she's like an orange belt or something) and oh my god she's way too cool for me. So I just admire from afar.
Little did younger me realize this was my first Female Crush *miscellaneous gasps*. (at this age I really didn't realize that bisexuality was a thing, I thought you were either straight or gay. One or the other, that made sense, yeah?? oh poor, nieve younger me....)
Now we fast forward a couple of years. I've stopped karate ages ago (like, a year after I started probably??). We are now in grade 6 (12 years old). My old school has amalgamated with a few others to form a New School, and I had joined the band program the year before. During this year, I'd caught glimpses of Karate Girl, without realizing it, during the Combined Primary School Bands Program. (we even literally walked into each other a few times lmao)
We are near the end of the year and the Combined Concert is coming up, so we are doing our mini tour thing to different schools that makes us feel like pop stars or some shit. So here we are, a group of 50 or so kids from different schools, all trying to avoid making eye contact with people we dont know, when my friend walks up, grabs my arm and another friends arm, and drags us over to a group of 3 or 4 girls from another school.
We all stand there awkwardly for a minute, wondering what the hell this other friend is doing, when she suddenly introduces us all. She somehow knew them, god knows how. But as she says their names, one suddenly sounds really familiar and I glance up and grin bc OH MY GOD KARATE GIRL IS THERE (ffs me how did you not see this crush). So we smile at each other as we both recognize the other and share and akward head nod before going our separate ways (AGAIN).
Now we get to grade 7. Karate Girl (who I really need another name for.... David) and I end up going to the same school. We see each other quite often, especially since we both join the band there, but we never get much further than an awkward smile of recognition. (it's at this time that I realize she is the same grade as me).
As we get to the end of the year, band tour rolls around and we head up north to play concerts for random crowds. As we arrive at the campsite for the week, I have a mild freak out bc WHO THE FUCK AM I ROOMKNG WITH before David's ffiends awkwardly come over and just... "hey your the same grade as us, yeah? we need four for a room and there's only three of us wanna join????". So I end up rooming with basic strangers and David.
Once again, fate has mushed us together. But we still ignore The Call.
The next year. Grade 8. David and I still dont really talk, but I'm close frineds with one of her friends. So, after fate realizing we really are not getting the hint, we end spending virtually every break together. We actually start to talk.
But we are not yet friends.
another band tour awkward-room share later and fate realizes we are the thickest people ever. Grade 9 rolls around and we have almost every class together. We end up spending most of our school time together. We finally, finally become frineds. Fate cheers.
and then... I realize.
it's a Friday night. I'm staring at my roof. The thought enters my head.
gee David is cute.
I can't u think it.
I.... have a crush.
it starts off small, because we're still friends, and I really dont want to lose that. I try not to think about it too much, and I dont talk about it much either. That just seems to make it worse.
So I tell one of my friends and she basically squeals because she thinks it's so cute. I am not quite so thrilled.
The crush comes in waves, sometimes painfully strong, sometimes barely there, and as the end of another year comes around, I realize something.
I've liked David a lot longer than I originally realized.
I'd liked her from the first moment we met.
Shit.
And, now we get to wear we are now. Grade 10, first day. And she rocks up at school in a dress (sje hasn't done that before) and I nearly faint because good GOD she is stunning.
it takes everything I have not to drool at her feet.
We are friends. No one knows I like her (the friend I told promptly forgot). I cannot deal with this.
Help me.
(sorry for any mistakes or errors, I can't be bother re-reading that painful mess of emotion)
Thursday, 25 September 2014
So... i also found a blurb generator.... ( Clarente Warning XD)
Someone like Silente
A Deep Romance
by Snow Stormberg
Annika Barnosky is a scruffy, bald and cute computer programmer from Europe. Her life is going nowhere until she meets Silente Tempest, a hairy, hot woman with a passion for bird watching.
Annika takes an instant disliking to Silente and the vile and wild ways she learnt during her years in Ohio.
However, when a tiger tries to tickle Annika, Silente springs to the rescue. Annika begins to notices that Silente is actually rather admirable at heart.
But, the pressures of Silente's job as a hairdresser leave her blind to Annika's affections and Annika takes up hiking to try an distract herself.
Finally, when tactless detective, Elleni Jazz, threatens to come between them, Silente has to act fast. But will they ever find the deep love that they deserve?
A Deep Romance
by Snow Stormberg
Annika Barnosky is a scruffy, bald and cute computer programmer from Europe. Her life is going nowhere until she meets Silente Tempest, a hairy, hot woman with a passion for bird watching.
Annika takes an instant disliking to Silente and the vile and wild ways she learnt during her years in Ohio.
However, when a tiger tries to tickle Annika, Silente springs to the rescue. Annika begins to notices that Silente is actually rather admirable at heart.
But, the pressures of Silente's job as a hairdresser leave her blind to Annika's affections and Annika takes up hiking to try an distract herself.
Finally, when tactless detective, Elleni Jazz, threatens to come between them, Silente has to act fast. But will they ever find the deep love that they deserve?
Here, have another Story
Two Snotty Uncles Smiling to the Beat
A Short Story
by Snow Stormberg
Annika Barnosky looked at the tiny piano in her hands and felt anxious.
She walked over to the window and reflected on her industrial surroundings. She had always loved hilly Sleepford with its roasted, rabblesnatching rivers. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel anxious.
Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Silente Tempest. Silente was a friendly coward with spiky arms and pretty fingernails.
Annika gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was a daring, kind, wine drinker with wide arms and skinny fingernails. Her friends saw her as a flipping, faffdorking friend. Once, she had even revived a dying, old man.
But not even a daring person who had once revived a dying, old man, was prepared for what Silente had in store today.
The clouds danced like bopping guppies, making Annika sneezy.
As Annika stepped outside and Silente came closer, she could see the faint smile on her face.
Silente gazed with the affection of 7514 remarkable precious puppies. She said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want love."
Annika looked back, even more sneezy and still fingering the tiny piano. "Silente, eat my shorts," she replied.
They looked at each other with calm feelings, like two crazy, curried cats hopping at a very stupid disco, which had reggae music playing in the background and two snotty uncles smiling to the beat.
Annika regarded Silente's spiky arms and pretty fingernails. "I feel the same way!" revealed Annika with a delighted grin.
Silente looked angry, her emotions blushing like a big, brainy book.
Then Silente came inside for a nice glass of wine.
THE END
(I haven't read this yet, it is a direct copy-paste)
A Short Story
by Snow Stormberg
Annika Barnosky looked at the tiny piano in her hands and felt anxious.
She walked over to the window and reflected on her industrial surroundings. She had always loved hilly Sleepford with its roasted, rabblesnatching rivers. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel anxious.
Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Silente Tempest. Silente was a friendly coward with spiky arms and pretty fingernails.
Annika gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was a daring, kind, wine drinker with wide arms and skinny fingernails. Her friends saw her as a flipping, faffdorking friend. Once, she had even revived a dying, old man.
But not even a daring person who had once revived a dying, old man, was prepared for what Silente had in store today.
The clouds danced like bopping guppies, making Annika sneezy.
As Annika stepped outside and Silente came closer, she could see the faint smile on her face.
Silente gazed with the affection of 7514 remarkable precious puppies. She said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want love."
Annika looked back, even more sneezy and still fingering the tiny piano. "Silente, eat my shorts," she replied.
They looked at each other with calm feelings, like two crazy, curried cats hopping at a very stupid disco, which had reggae music playing in the background and two snotty uncles smiling to the beat.
Annika regarded Silente's spiky arms and pretty fingernails. "I feel the same way!" revealed Annika with a delighted grin.
Silente looked angry, her emotions blushing like a big, brainy book.
Then Silente came inside for a nice glass of wine.
THE END
(I haven't read this yet, it is a direct copy-paste)
I found a fun random story generator and this happened.
Two Thoughtful Uncles Laughing to the Beat
A Short Story
by Snow Stormberg
Star Inkbright looked at the enchanted hat in her hands and
felt happy.
She walked over to the window and reflected on her beautiful
surroundings. She had always loved magical Blogland with its thirsty,
thoughtful Trip's Bar. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel
happy.
Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone.
It was the figure of Fabi Snakespeare. Fabi was an ace Carrot with fluffy legs
and tall eyes.
Star gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was a
brave, giving, tea drinker with brown legs and bubbly eyes. Her friends saw her
as a bored, barbecued Bubble. Once, she had even revived a dying Trip.
But not even a brave person who had once revived a dying Trip was prepared for what Fabi had in store today.
The moon shone like talking cats, making Star sparkly.
As Star stepped outside and Fabi came closer, she could see
the faint smile on her face.
"I am here because I want Friendship," Fabi
bellowed, in a bold tone. She slammed her fist against Star's chest, with the
force of 6666 penguins. "I frigging love you, Star Inkbright."
Star looked back, even more sparkly and still fingering the
enchanted hat. "Fabi, you are awesome," she replied.
They looked at each other with hyper feelings, like two
shallow, skinny sloths smiling at a very bubbly snow storm, which had jazz
music playing in the background and two thoughtful uncles laughing to the beat.
Star regarded Fabi's fluffy legs and tall eyes. She held out
her hand. "Let's not fight," she whispered, gently.
"Hmph," pondered Fabi.
"Please?" begged Star with puppy dog eyes.
Fabi looked friendly, her body blushing like a plastic,
purring piano.
Then Fabi came inside for a nice cup of tea.
THE END
Friday, 19 September 2014
The result of a bored me, El and anonymous minion (we will work out who you were)
Just some background Info : El and i were bored and decided to do an SP quotev takeover (basically RPing) and we started as El being Ravel and Me being Skul. then we got bored, so El turned her other account into a Val (which quickly changed to Darqesse) and i changed my other account Ghastly. And then Tanith appeared. And i thought it was El, and El thought it was me and we quickly realised it was we had no clue who it was. So, thanks, anonymous minion.
Saturday, 13 September 2014
Star Inkbright, Happy Birthday (for Monday, because otherwise I'll forget)
So, this morning I woke up to a calendar notification on my phone. It was telling me to make Star a birthday card. I remembered back in February I asked when her birthday was and that's when i put the notification on my phone. Now, I don't care if this is early or late or promptly on time, but Star, HAPPY BIRTHDAY. (you may have seen one of the pictures before)
.png)
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)